Monday, April 30, 2007

having study group tml, then finding ting xuan... for notes..-.- wanted to surprise her at tuition, but for the sake of the notes, i blew it, anyways, im sure she will love her present

ooh, and the things that go on at my tagboard.... interesting :):)
lol

sheesh, yannis gave me the best advice about the thing todaY, really thinking of being a good christian, she reminded me of my motto: 'to forgive, like jesus did', it was exactly the same motto that allowed me to forgive javier last year....

anways, the '...' person is really odd

'tt person is lyk negative negative de but also not tt bad la' (quoted from somebody)

'so rude, like a guy, but also dun sound like, cos this is cat fight, not really where a guy shoudl belong' (quoted from -.-)

'kai qian? cannot be, he more singlish... wen jie? maybe, but he long time nvr come to my blog le..... cecilia? cannot be, she wont be so bad de:).......this person is definitely not from my clique of frens... like DUH...' (said by me)

okie.. gotta go now.. glad to have frens like KW supporting me... not to forget Ting wei, rachel, yannis, ying en, si hui :):)

sheesh, juat saw jin jia on the "wo shi chuang xin wang".... is someone getting big-eyed?

end of story, bye, for now.. maybe i shall live up to my motto.. aiay, who am i to kid, i dun have the heart not to.. making the same move again.. as usual.. since she does show sigsn of repentance... lol


Hosanna in the Highest
4:14 AM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Random....Remember to listen to the song hor!

you hurt me.
Song:

Say Goodbye (edited version)

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
(i give up, im tired of playing this acting game with ur two BEST buddies,)
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
(i can nvr replace their position in ur heart.)
Nothing lasts forever though I want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you
(im the weak link, they def can act innocent...)

Sometimes goodbye,
though it hurts in my heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye,
though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss that lost love everyday
So say goodbye
Just cry it out
Cos that love did die
(just that their win thru these methods really hurt me.)

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things you wish you'd never did
(but most importantly becos you cant see when sincerity matters. )

In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner though it rains


Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop them I'd
make that love last


Sometimes goodbye,
so it hurts in my heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye,
so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss that lost love everyday
So say goodbye (so say goodbye)
Just cry it out
Cos that love did die


And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel


Sometimes goodbye,
so it hurts in my heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye,
so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss that lost love everyday


So say goodbye
Just cry it out
Because that love did die

Its like a nightmare being replayed and replayed... over and over again. :'(

Labels: jigsaw puzzle for the fated

Hosanna in the Highest
3:25 PM

cant sleep...

watching TV too.. my afternoon nap dragged... well, how is the song pple? its my life.. well, at least currently.

did i say b4 that my daily sleep is fixed, at if any time i nap first, it would be deducted from my bedtme at night...

well, today seems to drag, maybe cos i today.........nvm.

i think that someone was cheng joo, cos she went online at that time? i dunno....
reading the bible doesnt really help, maybe cos my mind wasnt in it....

that feeling of departure is taking over me again, abd its not something i could help, be it the control of emotions or the reason as to why im like this.. its not the first time this yr, its the 2nd.
third post for the day.. i guess its the only place of solace for me-----the virtual world :'(

maybe wearing contacts tml.. but i reckon i will be getting darker eye bags not sleeping now, so maybe not...........................................................................................................


Hosanna in the Highest
9:47 AM

SHUCKS!!!%@%#@!&&*@#%

ok, edited my post, realised some stuff cannot say....

anw, closer with shu rui, ting wei, joyann, pei fang....

ying en is really scary yesterday... she was like so fierce to me, until i so scared.... then she said it was nothing.... right, then dun do that to me.. dunno how many times i must say that i really only want to be ur fren, maybe u just find my joking methods odd, but that doesnt really give you the reason to do that right?
not funny.... and dun repeat hor.... i really dint bully you le.

yea... ting wei, u have been really nice :):) thanks..... shucks, i ate so much therapy food that i really these days ah......... shucks.
where is she when i needed her

ok, what else you want me to say?..... hmm, how bout today's test? well, it was actually ok... no extreme confidence but also no lack of it, just ping chang xin. maybe even better than ping chang xin....


then this morn also kana stalked by this freak.. arrgh, nitghmares... wgere is my maid guard.. lol

well, dying for exams to be over so i can get my cakemania, caffeaine craze and delicious

from joyann, and peifang.....:):) food games!!!

lol, gtg, learning to add song to my blog, bb




Hosanna in the Highest
6:51 AM

Friday, April 13, 2007

okie... i have just read my last ten posts or so.. and each is filled with negative stuffs... i must learn to be more happy like all of u want me to be... so lets start.... i went to play some cute-sy games....in miniclip... found it quite fun leh... esp Papa Louie... about pizzas attacking,.... honestly, if pizzas were to attack, i would just gladly gobble them up...

playing cake mania and Delicious too... all the food games are considerably nice... im intending to buy the software for cakemania and delicious... cos it rocks.... have been downloading many one-hour trials....lol
i dun think Gerald would be able to illegally download the full game, but lets see first, cos he is a super pro person, whom KW cant beat at for downloading illegally... his best record is hack and microsoft vista premium.... thats way risky......

ooh and btw, i totally agree with wing too, improving my attitude towards a certain person.... give me three days.. i shall put into play with wdv gentleness i have...lol

okie... maybe having sugar high now. eating up my orange-flavoured-cheese-coated carrot cake.. smack* whoa, its lovely.. of cos anything with cheese is an improvement...

hope it doesnt rain ltr.. dun wanna miss my tennis, have been missing lessons due to the weather quite a few times...
okie, bACK to playing games.. just wanna share this piece of good news with you frens...
thank you si hui and cheng joo :)


Hosanna in the Highest
10:49 PM

........ played cards pretty crazily these days.... lousy results have been pouring in... and its such an added bummer with relationship probs....
i cant control my tears............. only rachel sharing a bit of her bdae present with me today cheers me..:)thanks

well.. its getting hard sitting beside ying en...i noe i have been teasing her quite a bit....so i have been extra nice to her today... but she like whole day dao me .... like... arrgh, its pretty frustrating esp when i feel bored and wanna talk.... just wanna be your fren////

then my whole day started in the dumps... NC Koh sucks.... i like to talk.... whats her prob? i was just telling Rachel a very quick remark.... really quick. then she saw me and started babbling on my rudeness... oh puh-lease... if my acc wasnt locked out of the ACP.... i would have complained to the your voice matters thing!!!

arrgh... i wrote F-koh... many times on the table.... and its the main word i used to say to this particular person at home which i disacknowledge
btw, did you notice she got spruce up her dressing?... so gross lipstick and hair....=.= arrgh

OMG.... ***ing now.... this person is like pretending that nothing happened... like its my fault, when she was the one being sarcastic... why are you jealous!!!! you did better in me for every subject and english was the only one i did better!!!! ya la... i noe Nc Koh likes clams who dun speak.... you win can? no matter how hard i try, pple will nvr recognise my efforts...they only noe you are the best... for goodness sake.. if anyone could be jealous.. why should it be you?!
art, you win, sports, you win, music, you also win, becos no one will believe that i noe music. you've got a perfect life with complete home and even a large pocket money that we are envious of.
whereas no one even gives me a chance! they only put me down.....
Now accademic you also win.... i have been happy for you all these while.... even my pri sch best fren dint receive this privellege.... what makes you think you can abuse it>?!

if pple noe we are in a fight and doesnt noe the in-betweens, the first thing they will say is..:" oh.. msut be Eunice wrong again... that girl so nice, confirm wont be the one at fault."
do u dare say im wrong? DO YOU?

F is the only thing i say to that father... and u used it on me... i say, kay? that is one reason why i hate to hear that Word.. cos its the only thing that befits him!!! does this please you...
the pple i love most always has to be the pple who hurts me most..... WHY?

do you noe that a single remark from frens like you and liling can hurt me and leave an indelible mark in me?


Hosanna in the Highest
3:44 AM

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

arrgh!!! just deleted my post again!!!

start again hor

well... just read my tags and am very amused now... so rash... like somebody i noe...
well, i so dun wanna fuck you hor. yea and first warning to you for saying baad words ya? oh and welcome to the fatty club ..dint noe you were fat too, same like me except for the rest of the words in ur name... not very hyperactive la.. quite lazy when it comes to UR kinda hyperactive, right, pple? oh and go look for u for wat again?

~kw~ wats hum ji btw...?

okie... back to narrating my week.

went to watch BEAN last fri and of cos, as part of a tradition to movie-watching with eunice, i intro Qi Jing to sneaking food into the cinema.. yum yum.. haha

erm, then went tuition on sun.. lost my HP in the cab.... nvm, took my maid's phone.. her phone got way cooler games sia...and her hi-score very high sia, hard to beat... now i noe... hurhur?

erm, had CO practs on mon... found out some disputes with the school la.. but cannot say here less some teacher comes by..... erm, then our teacher was very nice, joking and treating us to drinks and toast then she praised us... say i chao chang biao xian...lol, haha
anw.. after that, my two seniors were erm learning the new song... while my instructress requested for me to leanr side-reading and beat and rhythm apprehending.... it was so odd, my seniors dint even noe these stuff.... so why must i learn leh?....

shu rui and her section stayed back sooo late....she declared that she was learning a very diff song... jia you sia, you can make it de, you only need time and patience :)
then went to buy farewell gifts with AH and CJ for their seniors while looking for my sis' .. see? without me, where will you all get those wACko ideas? huh? ;)

today sucks la.. dun say le.. sorry for scaring you all, esp for shouting at amanda... i knew what you were gonna ask and i dint want to hear it coming from ur mouth....
yea.. its about the 4th time i cried for accademic failure... have been crying alot this year.. wayy more than last year.. WAY/ gotta inject and knock some toughness into this area.. thanks to ting wei and farty for encouraging me too...
yea, and gotta THANK ying en for infulencing me with her optimism:):) yea.. and somebody happy bout a certain thing today ya?

then went to art fren with YE to buy art materails... got pretty upset with her cos im quite fickle-minded then she not decisive enough to help make decisions..... anw, am popped and pooped..... no money... DOTZ.......
but this lazy girl also har, walk so slow and grumble so much... finally i know watta describe her... old lady.... right?


Hosanna in the Highest
6:59 AM

Friday, April 06, 2007

hello... im very much living a bland life... i have absolutely no idea what the spammer was saying.... SHSS? that can only mean two persons related.... well wont be investigating their identity... cos its of no relevance... i know the matter has blown over and they are just trying to stir trouble....
maybe i have only one reply to the wierdo....i like being fat.... and there are pple who liked me for being fat/cute.... dint u read my blog? and i think i will change a lot a lot, maybe into some bimbos that KW and most pple hate ....if i become skinny, so i wont be donating my fats in a long while, unless u want some;) and the pple in africa dont need fats... they need food/ nutrition... fats dun have nutrition.... to think u discriminated my IQ.....


well, here's the deal... i dint exactly have a lot of homework, i just merely skipped church...getting to be anti-christianed... i really wonder what i should do during CG.... anyways...i cant possibly tell pple in church bout this... they wont understand and also wont have any ans to my qns....

i told my mom how she is stressing me... giving her the cold shoulder now...i know its wrong and its breaking everyone's heart... but...haizz, i dunno what to do....

anw, playing com games to escape.... virtual world helps.. now i noe why u pple(*refering to some of my frens) play games all day...
i know its unbelievable... but i have been refusing meals...this is crazy..... playing games in a while, bye....

erm... really stop it... passerby, and spammer... nothing left for me to do really... anyone who knows about this incident wouldnt have sided with you.... really.. peace, so dun stir any more trouble. if u are talking about humility, i have shown it by explaining and apologising... so stop


Hosanna in the Highest
7:16 PM

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

ok, back to blogging bout my day...

it sucks la, i have been sobbing on and off, its only when i play cards that i dun feel so upset... i dun even laugh that much anymore...
i feel i have depression... and its like 99.9% true... cos like which normal person would run off to want to commit suicide? and even like vanish or cry so often and will be so super sensitive!?

im so sorry i cant bring that much laughter to you guys anymore.. sorry that its your turn to help me.. hopefully fren's loyalty and company will rid me of all the depression in my heart...
you guys have no idea how serious i am when i want to commit suicide. i dunno whats holding me back, but im kind of waiting for someone to rescue me...

sorry, but i hope you all can help me, by like continuing to be encouraging to me.. maybe you guys are the someone who can rescue me.

and i know its kind of not my way to be so nice to those pple who prosecute me... but i really want peace and nothing negative... im just saving myself... i dun want to be driven to death and regretting it ltr, cos there is no returning back... i dunno, im looking for all sorts of method to rid my depression anything, but a psychologist...

im sorry if i really get insane..dun get mad i predict that i will get very snappish too.. when things dun go according to plan... im so sorry........really so sorry and im very sorry if i run off or scream or anything cos im scared i might say something inappropriate again... so sorry but please help me for now

PLEASE help me!

Labels: ** crying in the rain, somebody Save me

Hosanna in the Highest
6:34 AM

replies to the tags....

~rachel~ thanks for the encouragement.... my fan

~joyann~ thanks for the encouragement...

~passerby~please relax... do u mean me criticising other school?
well, maybe i have to cancel that, cos they are many a sweeping statement... like saying KC is a bimbo school, but not say very true la... cos i just realised my church fren was from KC and she is very nice lor:)....so, i apologise for that...
i have to be very honest with you, many of the comments were not made by me... i was quoting... please dun get upset.
and perhaps u think that me thinking high of myself is my zilian-ing... im known for joking with my zilianing de..... dun take to heart.

~DJ~ :) thanks buddy... they are not jealous la.. just telling me their anger only... dun worry

~anon~ i would like u to be more respectful to my fren who is just defending me... yea, and do relax..

~cecilia~ yea, a music exchange is to help each other right? on each other's shortcomings in their music...
i coudlnt even have the chance to tell you guys where there could be improvement becos we had to leave b4 interaction time... and like i said, most of the comments were taken from my other CO frens and seniors... and im so sorry that i have to delete ur first tag, cos if my other co mates were to see this rite, they will get mad, i want peace around here..
i dint look down on you guys, perhaps its my tone that might have caused this uproar....

and i know u are not that other cecilia, cos she is real gentle kind whose character is quite far from music... she is a very UG person..:)
erm, and what makes u think that i would accuse pple wrongly? man.. am i really of that poor a character.... im of a very calm mood now too. for some unknown reason :)

~unknown~ yea, i like exchanging pointers:) btw, im known for my zilianing kind of joke.... its become part of my character.. so when i quote the memorable good stuff said bout my bass, my intention is that my frens who read it will go smiling.."argh, this zilian girl ah...." thats all.... yea...dun mistake me... and i appreciate and of cos wont mind you saying all these
infact, u are the first person who criticised my so so politely:) thanks
p.s. you sound like my best fren ;


erm, general message to all is that i honestly and sincerely apologise for all comments, whether made by me or not, rashly and tactlessly... its my fault for flushing out all the not-so-good comments made by others too... just realised i shouldnt even have shown it to others... and i really feel affected knowing that i am mistaken quite a bit... but then again, you guys dunno me, so i wont take it to heart either, okay, peace?
i really want peace to exist lor...lets really make frens and hopefully discuss more bout our insights on chinese music and stuff..to show how sincere i am about making peace and apologising, i shall delete all negative comments....oh, and those remarks about my bass playing is like just quoted from others de...................................


Hosanna in the Highest
6:08 AM

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Hosanna in the Highest
2:33 AM

theBlessedStar

Eunice Choong,Grace/Rocket22293/What!
22FEBRUARY!!!!!!!;o
Anglican High School
Ignyte Youth Ministry Trinity@PL!

brothersandsisters

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