Tuesday, August 15, 2006
im in terrible pain, in and out.
my back is hurting a lot every single min, i would be lying if i say im ok. now, i cant put up that false front with smiles and all, im deeply hurt, full of agony.
i have just been told that i cant play tennis and carry heAvy stuff like the bass anymore, there goes my passion in life, there were three, but all is disapearing.
my first is tennis, now that i have this backache , i can forget it forever... yes, like amanda has said, it will heal, but it will take ages, years, by the time, all my tennis friends and basics would have been gone.
the second is my music, all i have left is my voice, i doubt im allowed to pick up that cool electronic guitar and soulful double bass anymore.i dun even noe wat cca im gonna do, if i cant play it.
the last is him, i just realised wat she says is true, it would take forever for him to understand my actions, FOREVER...he has walked out of my life til this very min.
what would u do if everything was given , then taken back in a harsh manner, everything!
im so torn APART, i just wish he would forgive me, then my world wont be so dim. WILL YOU, Jesse?
God didnt listen to me, i was lying in bed asking him to perform a miracle to heal my back completely, but it still hurt when i got up, i cant help crying. i noe that God has better plans to help me, but its inevitable for me to use my own thinking to look at the whole situation.
Hosanna in the Highest
4:53 AM
