Wednesday, August 30, 2006
since i said i will post about my freinds, so i will:
1) jun yao-- she is really much like a sis to me, we have pretty much in common in terms of views and also taste? okie, erm, not really for tastes... she really noes when its time for her to give me space when im feeling down and she is really good at doing girl stuff... but hey, dun take her to be a fool, she bullies me half the time.she is much to be my best fren in this claasss.
2)javier--My bro.... used to be really sick and dun be amazed about the first question he asked me,which is totally sicko! a really good confidante, pretty much due to that common faith we have:) prayer kept us together as frens and we weathered so much, that now, our friendship is very strong:) i noe sometimes i ask u on advice that is really hard to ans, thats why u give lame advices to me, lol, so i wont blame u:) i hope u will continue to support me and dun let that SC incident happen again, cos u broke my heart, i tot u knew i wasnt that kind of person, u are my bro, and this bond is more special than frenship!
3) Amanda-- amanda is person with deep character, she gives pretty good advice, but sometimes the way she phrases it can be a bit.. indirect. but we have similar tastes, yes.
i am really happy that my presence and the sch is bringing her slowly to christianity:) must keep up the good work kay? :)
and amanda, dun disappoint me, pls keep ur promise as best as u can....
4)olivia-- the most interesting person i ever met. wouldnt believe that u are a pastor's daughter cos u have such open opinions and u really noe how to play com games well.Leraning from u and ur sis, continue to be witty and funny, and erm, sidetrack-i like ur belts, lol. u really noe how it feels to be a christian kid, and ur frankness for life has made me grown to learn from u.
5)fid and gerald--
fid is the most silly adult i ever noe, she is always so blur with gerald, no wonder will be his gf-.-
looking forward to ur graduation, when u guys get engaged:) btw, can i borrow dome of ur dvds please?!:)
and gerald, the most sotong guy=.=, how can u not noe that im sisters with my sis, for ur info, im not a lesbian, and even if i am, why would i chose a girl like my sis?! ooh, and lets crash the arcade asap, my classmates gardly like the arcade, which is such a bummer..
6)kar wing, ting xuan-- yo! my great buds in church camp and church fren respectively. both are vulgar but also have child-like innocence,lol, somehow. u two really noe how to comfort me, when im bullied or like upset with life, u guys just use the most unique methods to comfort me:):)
7) lian kai-- the most mcp guy i noe, somehow always like act cool e.g., walking as slow as an old lady to ur seat, spinning the book, and many more.... remember wat u promised me in rs, and for goodness sake, stop styling ur hair, such a distraction, careful u dun go bald!! oh and u have a good bro, dun bully him, he is pretty much under my protection. and my best advice to ur situation, come to me when u dun understand the text, and even if i dun understand the text too, i will ask for assistance:),lol.
this evaluation is done in a very mischievious manner, dun get angry.
other frens include Ding jun, wen rui, jia hao, cheng joo , shu rui and jia hui...
oohm, and bo kai, he is the most fun and unique guy, a bit less mcp than his bro, but hard to say when he grows up, cos i think it runs in the family, lol:):)
Hosanna in the Highest
1:03 AM
seriously feeling down in the dumps. got scared by the kitten which i think is not cool, and its a world-known thing that im scared of these kinda animals, wats the big deal about scaring me with it, doesnt make u less stupid.-.-and when i wanted to go home, ang hong and jun yao wanted to take neoprints with me, so i obliged. but who noes that someone came along and she said, "i want to take neoprint with jun yao, ang hong and delphine" pretty much in my face. i was like wAts the big deal with her, besides, ah and jy wanted to take with me at first de! but im not so thick-skinned and decided not to go below my self-esteem to take the pics. im very prideful, i dun wanna go below my self-esteem to please someone, but very often, for the sake of harmony, i do stuff that i hate, i have to smile and laugh at jokes that arent funny and i agree with stuff that i dislike. SO, i chose to do my way when i really couldnt stand things, sorry to jun yao and ang hong that i walked away in a huff, but i couldnt stand to see that hypocritical look on her face, she was nice in front of many pple, but she turns to bcome very how to say, idiotic when she thinks u arent cool and like not doing as well as others, many pple experienced the same stuff as me, but they chose to be in denial and continue befriending her, Wats the point? why would u want a friend like her who switches on and off. however, im not angry with *********, im angry at those who claim to be my frens, helo? if u are my fren, can u show that u are my fren and voice out certain matters for me? u guys feel the same way as i do but keep quiet and be compliant towards matters. i really hope that my frens can actually show that they are my frens. i mean u guys always complain to me about these pple, and i would ask them to be considerate to ur sensitivity, but yet when its my turn, u guys just sit on the fence.
its getting very tiring for me to muster courage to face these pple who think that they very cool and "in" ALONE ; and to talk frankly to them for you and offending them.
i really want to sleeep and rest.............. Hosanna in the Highest
12:36 AM
Monday, August 28, 2006
too many issues at hand, its causing me to get really paranoid and my hormones are reacting wierdly, while my brain noes i should do this, my body just reacts differently, which makes me very lost and uncomfortable, i tot ny frens may understand but they are often than not as wilful.
it makes me upset, and sometimes when im alone, i tend to have suicidal tots like just cutting my hand or i just use wierd methods to express my unhapinessm these days, its getting from bad to worse, sometimes i wanna just run away from home from this life to my frens overseas. these tots are just not the kind i had when i was a devoted christian,no, im just so influenced by my surrounding that i just change to be like them, its hard to begin a new life in the middle of nowhere, im veery lost,
does anyone have any suggestions?impressing and pleasing pple seemed so much harder than b4, but now that i have a mind of my own, pple are not happy, damn this world and ***M, which made things worse.and for those who consider to be my frens, just pls tell me if i go overboard, i feel extreme these days, its all cos of the hormones!!!!!!!!!!!!oh and he looks so much like that crappy giglo--my head prefect in pri sch. ask around, they will find the 2 pple similar! that head prefect was my one and only crush in pri sch(only began in p4?), and it was a nightmare, damnm the similarity is uncanny, that eyes, style, and come to think of it, their accent is similar too! gosh , dun wanna think about the unbelieveable similarity!!!!!! Hosanna in the Highest
3:48 AM
Thursday, August 24, 2006
my heart is much lighter now, my mom didnt come home yesterday, she stayed in a hotel. i guess she was really upset, but she decided to forgive me after all, she left my fav drink(juice) packet on my table:)
To eugene: im sorry i lied, u are one of the few whom i managed to lie past. i never changed how i tot of him, seriously.
and da jia, javier is my fren, my buddy, or bro rite? then so is lumpy!u only see me i ruffling his hair becos javier is too tall, and he sweats!!lol so, pls get my
love life's record straight. thank you.
Hosanna in the Highest
4:08 AM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
i think im a damn bastard, i never feel so idiot b4, im so hurt when my maid scolded me for breaking my mum's heart and destroying this family.
here was what happened,
i was feeling depressed with my results, it was the lowest ever, my mom didnt scold me or express any displeasure, i wished she hadnt spoiled me, i wish she would scold me and hit me to make me feel better, i dunno, somehow, she showed me too much love and this makes me feel so guilty for not showing her the due respect.
i wanted to do well in my studies to make her happy, i tot thats what all parents want, for their child to excel in studies, so i worked madly, but she still looked upset, so i was fustrated at guessing what she wanted and turned to runescape for an outlet to my emotions. i got addicted, i couldnt stop. im not failing my results, but i wasnt studying and paying attention in class, i slacked till i almost failed.
so, when i came to my senses this week, i promised to stop RS after this week, i started paying attention in class. But when i went home, the 'he'(if u guys noe about my family, u should noe whi this he referred to), blocked RS and set up a password over it.i got so bliddy angry, i started flying a rage, asking my sis who totally detests com games, to type in the password, but its was blocked again, i dunno why! So i demanded to type it again. but she was really not free, and cant get downstairs, so i resorted to some..........violence meANs. which left marks on the house, but cut a scar on my heart when i reflected. my mom was so upset that she cried over the phone, thats when my maid scolded me.i just couldnt understand why my family couldnt understand me, dun they read my blog, i do drop hints and i purposely leave my blog url in the web history.
then i remembered the chinese lesson where age gaps can cause a lot of hurt. my family is the best exAmple; which child disowns their dad, i do. thats why i refused to put his particulars down on the forms, and if im forced to talk to him, i would stay out the whole day, i just couldnt face him, there's nothing more hurting than to noe and face him.
how many of u would understand me, none! i suppose. i wreaked this family, and the regret is keeping up with me, im beginning to understand why they all blocked the game site, cos my addiction is getting out of hand, and its developing this violence in me. oh goodness, who oh who can i talk to, i have lost my voice from eating chili and screaming in my corner, so much for growing in faith. im feeling so terrible, worse than the turmoil i felt when my back hurt. cos this is at the heart which hurts twice more.
dear lord, i have sinned terribly....
Hosanna in the Highest
2:26 AM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
okie, today has been pretty eventful
i had this great quiet moment in the morning, thinking stuff while blindly filing my stuff, so amanda, dun come so soon to disrupt this peace...lol
after that, i found out my secret admirer, lol, it had been li shan, i tot its been a world-known thing that i was gullible, and she still wanted to try... cant believe it, but its a good thing she admitted early, cos my mom tot that this pranker was harassing me, and she was about to report to the police, so, Lishan, dun mess around with my Big mama, haha
btw, dunno why this shelley and her gang likes to do sick stuff like pulling on my strap=.=
i think the history lesson today was very meaningful, it somehow strengthened my resolve to live like a christian
yes, my philosophy for life is to love all and live a life that will receive that "good" from God on judgement day. No offence, i also noticed that christianity wasnt mentioned in the textbook, which meant that it wasnt just a religion, its true:):) was glad and positive despite many occuring events:) i dunno, guess that after months of praying, God finally decides to let me have this strong surge that encourages me to be positive:):)
ok, then had loads of heavy brain work, and went out with jun yao and wen rui to have lunch, had so much fun laughing at their PERSONAL life in primary school, its totally
RADICAL!!oh, forgot about my geog test which was horrid, since its horrid, lets not talk about it, dun spoil my day, i just ignore its presence, lol Xp, lol, dun laugh, anyway, will promise to stop playing games after this week sia, erm, btw , putting up a notice to look for all arcade lovers,
IM looking for pple to go crash the arcade on sats night? calling all fun pple, regardless of gender or age, but only applies to students from Anglican High Schoolcos its not fun to play time crisis 4 and star wars racer alone,lol :) Hosanna in the Highest
4:10 AM
Friday, August 18, 2006
hallelujah to the king of kings, the prince of peace, the lord of lords!!!
my back prob is as i have prayed, its not the bones prob, its the muscles:0
im so glad, which means i can play tennis after undergoing some physiotherapy!:)
thats great!!! :) can u imagine how grateful i am to god?!
thanx all who prayed for me
and that secret admirer, i give up, asked around so many pple, yet they dun noe who u are, this is crazy, show urself!:)
Hosanna in the Highest
12:11 AM
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
im in terrible pain, in and out.
my back is hurting a lot every single min, i would be lying if i say im ok. now, i cant put up that false front with smiles and all, im deeply hurt, full of agony.
i have just been told that i cant play tennis and carry heAvy stuff like the bass anymore, there goes my passion in life, there were three, but all is disapearing.
my first is tennis, now that i have this backache , i can forget it forever... yes, like amanda has said, it will heal, but it will take ages, years, by the time, all my tennis friends and basics would have been gone.
the second is my music, all i have left is my voice, i doubt im allowed to pick up that cool electronic guitar and soulful double bass anymore.i dun even noe wat cca im gonna do, if i cant play it.
the last is him, i just realised wat she says is true, it would take forever for him to understand my actions, FOREVER...he has walked out of my life til this very min.
what would u do if everything was given , then taken back in a harsh manner, everything!
im so torn APART, i just wish he would forgive me, then my world wont be so dim. WILL YOU, Jesse?
God didnt listen to me, i was lying in bed asking him to perform a miracle to heal my back completely, but it still hurt when i got up, i cant help crying. i noe that God has better plans to help me, but its inevitable for me to use my own thinking to look at the whole situation.
Hosanna in the Highest
4:53 AM
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
ok, 2.4km run has been quite an experience, i dun bother about the results, but i just noe that i am pleased with my attitude during the run, i mean i didnt run as fast as i could , but i tried to despite my asthma. that trying is good enough.
i went out with jun yao thereafter, had a great time talking and joking around. went to check out bossini and hangten cos there was discounts. but the design and cutting was a bit disappointing...
then, we went to MPH, read books, checked out the crafts corner, notebooks corner(for my new diary), and ordered something for his birthday that is gonna exhaust my two weeks of my allowance...
hopefully he understands how hard im trying to get his forgiveness, i risked my life in negeotiating with mr ong, which obviously proved that mr ong is cold-hearted, and talking to various pple, pulling connections, im so tired le, brain-dead , have long ran out of brain juices to think of anymore solutions, i just pray that things will remain stagnant as it is, its better than him getting into trouble again.
after that, we went to eat ajisen ramen, we tried the 
ramen. GOSh, it was HOT!!! 
we were like tearing and our noses started to run like we were crying at the 3rd mouth of soup onwards. LOL
we wanted to try that cos we noe that never in a million years would our parents allow us to eat something so hard, so we decided to挑战无极线 , but boy oh boy, its hooott!! BUT for feisty me, i just got more addicted to the spice, so i ate with delight, despite the flow of my nose, i used up 5 tissues to wipe it up, lol, its just so delightfully spicy:) 
i even had some of jun yao's soup. had a heartburn when i reached home, LOL but its a nice experience:) yup, thats all for today, was pretty much happy,... yea, suffering from a sore throat now... lol, dun laugh, we only live once, so i will still choose to do this, if i lived over again, its just for the experience.
(sorry, this pics were so well, ok, cute that i had to put it up:) )
will write about my frenz some other day:) ok? just wait for it, pple.... Hosanna in the Highest
3:05 AM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
thank you, kathleen, thanx for sharing ur testimony with all us youths, i will use ur testimony to preach God's word and help inspire christian youths like me:)
i felt so well, revived, i decided to live life for God once again, i want to extend his kingdom, while it gave u pple the strength and courage to spread the gospel, it helped to transform my heart through and through.
recently, my life is going through a rough patch, im experiencing the great DEPRESSION...
i suddenly got addicted to web games, i couldnt concentrate on my work and even wondered why i haD to study. why cant i just get a job and do whatever i like, whats the big deal with good results????!!!
i just didnt want to hit the books, i try so hard, studying, and yet i cant get first in class, its
VERY DISHEARTENING.
and God keeps giving me that sign, he keeps whispering to me the positive sign, but his will didnt seem to start and work yet, in fact all that frenship between us has boiled down to none.
thats my main depression.
but , i decided to start afresh after hearing ur testimony, it will happen if its meant to be his decreed, and i am waiting for it to happen!
and to YOU, please noe that ur words make an impact on me, think b4 you speak, if u dun care, i do. Hosanna in the Highest
6:09 PM
Thursday, August 03, 2006
ok, i dun deny that im a noob for a number of things, but im learning to grow in diff. aspects.
havent u been a noob before?
i dunno why i suck at 'big 2' today, i usually play it well with my other frenz. but i totally lose only when i deal at a game that u-noe-who is present.thats so not unfair.
Now, everyone thinks im a loser at that game, but i used to win those inter-class competitions.lol...
Btw, BRIDGE rocks , despite what other pple may say...and i am sure to beat you(provided i have average cards=) 
and i think that boys are totally petty. as in when i offend SomeOne, i did my best to make up to that person , its more than i can imagine lah! But that person so totally blows off and takes revenge. What did the Bible say !!!! as a christian, how can u forget his teachings?!!?
rui bin is TOO much, he is so totally wrong,
1) he stepped on my bag on purpose
2)he vandalised my eraser for the fourth time today
the most important thing, he doesnt take responsibility and pay for it.Choo Rui Bin is a psycho!!he thinks its fun picking on someone, and he thinks its like natural to do that to ME. juz watch and observe, u will agree with me that he is Sick!!!!
think he got abnormal genetic traits, no offence to his parents, juz maybe he alienated his own genes... Hosanna in the Highest
4:27 AM
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Eunice and her strange sightings...ok, here is the conclusion to her sightings
1) the media found out that the figure in the lecture room does exist, cos her frenz felt its presence there too; the same goes to the 'thing' the Eagles nest.2) however, the other 'spirits' she saw did not prove much of its existence, basically because her realiable frenz couldnt sense anything. these few sightings whom her buddies-- amanda and jun yao could not verify to, could be as suspected, HALLUCINATIONS; which could be as doctors prescribed, overworking and frying of the brain(P.S. could be why she developed a fever shortly after the first 2 sightings)the Dr said" it is most likely that ur first 2 sightings , based on oral evidence, which proved to be consistent, corroborated and credible. this truth to her could have came down hard on the inexperienced her, and causing her to let her imagination run wild. this wild imagination of hers is most probably the key factor to the other sightings.".Conclusionthe first 2 sights are true, but the rest are suspected hallucinations.copyright(C)this is eunice choong signing off, thank you Hosanna in the Highest
1:58 AM
its getting very tiring for me to muster courage to face these pple who think that they very cool and "in" ALONE ; and to talk frankly to them for you and offending them.
ramen. GOSh, it was HOT!!! 
i even had some of jun yao's soup. had a heartburn when i reached home, LOL but its a nice experience:) yup, thats all for today, was pretty much happy,... yea, suffering from a sore throat now... lol, dun laugh, we only live once, so i will still choose to do this, if i lived over again, its just for the experience.
thank you, kathleen, thanx for sharing ur testimony with all us youths, i will use ur testimony to preach God's word and help inspire christian youths like me:)